Plan B is the new Plan A
when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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