My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
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