Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
