Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize