yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
