so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
The beer is more important than you right now.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Randomize
