yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
Randomize
