I swear she didn't look like that last week.
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
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