Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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