If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
