just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
Randomize
