Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
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