I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
