I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
