how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
