Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Randomize
