you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
