I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
Randomize
