I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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