I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Randomize
