I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
