omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize
