no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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