Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
Randomize
