i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Randomize
