Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize