Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
Dick very happy bro
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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