Midget sex pt 2 tonight
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
Randomize
