When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Randomize
