I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize
