who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
