why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
you mean i was at the winter classic?
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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