Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
Randomize
