the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
Randomize
