He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
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