I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Randomize
