i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
how does that bad decision feel?
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