its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
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