what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
