If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Randomize
