sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
