4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
