do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
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