I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
