Midget sex pt 2 tonight
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
Randomize
