you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
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