he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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