i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Randomize
