I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
