i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
Randomize
