I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
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