Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
