I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
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