yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
Randomize
