I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
Randomize
