Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Randomize
