Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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